Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
