I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
