windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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