i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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