Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
