Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize