I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
