I think I died a long time ago.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Randomize
