Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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