So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
