I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
