She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
