You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize