He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
