Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
