what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
