I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
