I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
