I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
