One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
