Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
