when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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