For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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