It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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