Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
