never play flip cup with pint glasses
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
