I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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