She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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