She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
