I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
