this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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