# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
