Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was a blind-side dick pic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
