I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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