OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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