Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
