I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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