singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
PANTIES FOUND
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