At least make sure they are 18
Why
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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