When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
