You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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