just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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