Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
