yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he thought i was a dude.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize