Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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