There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
