Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
