Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
