I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
