Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you never un-have a 4some
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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