remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
