i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
only you would photoshop your dick
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
