She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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