Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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