i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
