on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
