oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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