they need to just BURY HIM!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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