Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
