so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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